Holy Yoga: Changing My Relationship with Exercise

• October 10, 2022
• By Kristin Daubenmeyer

Holy Yoga: Changing My Relationship with Exercise

I am not sure when it happened…when I first started believing the lie that my body was not good…that it was just too much…that is was flawed. I am not sure when I shifted from the young girl who would run around carefree in her bathing suit, to the one running for her towel directly after coming out of the pool.  When did I start sweating my way through summer because I would rather wear jeans than show my (gasp!) thighs. 

According to a report shared by CBS News, 97% of women have a negative body image. Wait, what? That statistic should break your heart. Where did this lie come from? I will tell you where. Straight from the one who hates us and seeks to steal anything that is good. He is the enemy of our souls and hates the natural beauty of a woman. And because he can not make anything new, all he can do is distort the truth that we are indeed God’s beauty on display.  

You look really good. Have you lost weight? She bounced back so quickly after she gave birth. She looks so good for her age! How many times have you said or heard these phrases? They are dangerous and are hurting our women. One of my favorite authors, Jess Connolly, says it best in her book, Breaking Free From Body Shame, “In the Bible, there is no mention of Mary Magdalene’s thighs…Deborah’s teeth, Ruth’s waistline, Anna the prophetess’s forehead, Elsabeth’s stretch marks, Eve’s hair, Lois’ skin, Martha’s tunic size, or the symmetry (or lack thereof) of Miriam’s face. Because the Lord looks at the heart. Their faithfulness was not defined by their bodies, their capacity to be used by God was not defined by their bodies, and their bodies were never the most interesting or compelling parts of their story. Because the Lord looks at the heart.”

In the past, I had a dysfunctional relationship with working out. It all felt like a chore. Exercise felt like something I had to do to look a certain way. I knew the many health benefits to movement and so, I would drag myself to the treadmill and loath the entire workout. You see, my relationship with moving my body had little to do with caring for it and a whole lot to do with punishing it.

In 2018, there was a brand new studio that opened in walking distance from my house. I signed up for the intro special (thank you Jesus!) to give it a shot. Contrary to what I had been told about Christians practicing yoga, I met with Jesus on my mat. I quickly found out that I cared more about the tears flowing from my eyes during my practice than how much I was sweating. There was a shift! I distinctly remember my instructor offering me freedom to move in a way that felt right in my body. I am sad to admit that I didn’t even know what felt right. I had spent so many years trying to disconnect from the body that I felt such shame in. But little by little, I started craving my yoga classes.

In 2020, I was practicing fairly regularly at my neighborhood studio. In His loving kindness, the Lord was slowly starting to reveal the lies I had been believing about my body.  Yoga was a huge catalyst in my healing. And then, God did something really wild. He called me to go through Holy Yoga 200 Hour Teacher Training. In all honesty, my past relationship with exercise and my body was one of my biggest hindrances. In the way only He can do, He is using my biggest struggle to bring Him the most glory in my life. My why. 

As a yoga studio owner, I am adamant about offering a space in which our students can walk away from a class knowing their bodies are good. Not because of how they look, but because they were created by a good God. I have people of all ages and sizes in my classes. One student in particular stands out so vivid in my mind. When I invited her, she asked if the room would be dark. She was nervous people would see a person of her size practicing and judge her. After her first class, with tears brimming her beautiful blue eyes, she shared, “I never thought someone who looked like me could do yoga.” This is my why! 

 We chose to have no mirrors in our studio where we practice. While a mirror can help with alignment, I have found it can be a trigger. Instead of focusing on how our bodies feel, we can get caught up in what we are seeing. If I teach onsite in a space that has a mirror, I will have the students face away from it. My hope and prayer is that my students feel like they can show up right where they are on their wellness journey. 

Whether you struggle with body issues or not, I highly recommend going through the Holy Yoga Disordered Eating Training. It is beneficial to know what verbiage can be helpful or harmful for your yoga class. I went through it this spring and it was so helpful, not only in my own journey, but in knowing how to better assist my students.

They say you can’t teach something you don’t know. While I can’t say I have arrived, I can say I am so much farther along than I was that first day I walked into that yoga studio.  Galatians 5:1 tells us that “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!”  My why. To offer freedom to those, like my dear friend, who never thought she could move her body and experience the beautiful, healing benefits of yoga because of body shame. The enemy would love me, and you, to keep quiet about what is going on in our hearts and minds about our bodies. To just keep believing the lies. But, I am finding that the more honest I am about my struggles with self image issues, the more healing He offers. Replacing the lies with His truth. Holy Yoga has truly changed my relationship with my body. My prayer is that it has for you too, dear one. 

Phrases I like to use while teaching to encourage body positivity:

“Take up as much space on your mat as you need.”

“Move the flesh to the side if needed.”

“We are taking care of our bodies today… not to punish ourselves but because we are thankful for these bodies God has gifted us with.”

“Treat your body like it belongs to someone you love.”

“Go at your own pace.”

Resources for body positivity:

Podcast: 

Outweigh

Book:

Breaking Free From Body Shame by Jess Connolly